Birthday Celebrations (for old people)

Blue Skies and Tall Masts

I haven’t really been up to anything exciting recently. It’s been too cold to do any allotmenting, I’m too crafted out to be creative and it’s that bit of the winter where the enthusiasm of the New Year has passed and I just want to hibernate for a while.

But – January sees my birthday and a reason to celebrate (if being a bit greyer and a bit wrinklier is a reason to celebrate). DH and I took the day off work and had a trip out to Gloucester. He was tempted by the wonderful industrial architecture of the docks and I had heard tell of a fabulous Antique Centre. A win-win situation!
 

So we set off on what must have been one of the wettest and most miserably cold days of the month but determined to have a good time.

We parked up and began the day with a hot chocolate which seemed like the best decision. The antiques then beckoned. I was most disappointed to not find anything that really drew me. An Enid Blyton book entitled ‘Mr Pink-Whistle Interferes’ caused some sniggers and I was tempted by a beautiful wooden Victory puzzle of kittens. We spent some time looking around the docks and admiring the wonderful restoration they have done. There were lots of artefacts around the place, giving a sense of the history of the setting and I was filled with longing, looking at the rows of colourful narrowboats all moored up (we used to own a narrowboat and I still really miss it)
 

Detail from a stone carving

We lunched at a small place called Hubble Bubble and both enjoyed some fab burgers. Hubble Bubble is conveniently located right near Gloucester Cathedral so we decided to look around that too.
 

Gloucester Cathedral

Cathedrals are awesome places – the scale, the history, the architecture! I had absolutely no clue that this particular cathedral had been used famously for filming some of the Harry Potter films. There was nothing inside to advertise this fact and I didn’t find out til afterwards – but it did explain why some of it seemed so familiar! The day we went they had film crews in again, setting up to shoot some scenes for Sherlock.

Gloucester Cathedral dates from 1089 and its other claim to fame is it houses the tomb of Edward II. Edward was alledgedly murdered at nearby Berkeley Castle and was buried at Gloucester although his heart is at Newgate Church in London (I just love a gruesome detail!). The tomb is pretty impressive and typically covered in graffiti from schoolboys in the 1700's. I didn't purchase a photography permit and so have no actual pics from inside the Cathedral.

 

Detail from outside the Cathedral

 

A final visit to some shops and the purchase of a suit for DS#2 (hang on, it was MY birthday!) saw us finish off the day before heading home.
 

Rain on the Cobbles!

I reflected afterwards on how grown up I must be now, cathedrals and antiques rather than mad drunken debauchery for my birthday – but then I don’t think I could keep up with the debauchery any more. I’d probably be asleep before it really got going!

Meaningful and Mindful

It seems like an age has passed since my birthday and I feel I am embracing 42 with positivity and fresh insights.

My blog ‘confession’ drew more love and support than I could ever have imagined and I feel very blessed to have wonderful people in my life – thank you to all of you!

 

I didn’t tell you that I had treated myself to a massage on my birthday. I had in my head a relaxing and pampered hour and a half, ha! The lovely lady that supplied my treat found what she could only describe as some of the hardest knots in my shoulders that she’d come across for a long time! She kindly asked if she could ‘work them out’ - ‘go for it’ I replied, still on a drift of scented oil and candles. OMG – it hurt. Quite a lot. And the next day. And the day after that too. But it was a lesson to me that I am clearly keeping quite a lot of tension in that area. I feel so much better now and I have been making a concerted effort to do some yoga stretches every day and to relax my shoulders every time I feel them hunching (which seems to be every 5 minutes)

 

I have also been reading a lot about mindfulness and thinking that this is definitely something which I need in my life. I have done a little meditation in the past and it now feels like the right time to revisit and try it again. I have been faithfully trying out some of the exercises in this book but I am finding some harder than others. Trying hard to explore feelings like anger from a mindful viewpoint having just been cut up by a thoughtless driver is tough – and meditating on the bed late in the evening just leads to sleep! But each experience is a learning opportunity and I am embracing it as best I can.

 

I have continued to go to the gym but decided last Sunday to have a run in the proper outdoors. It was chilly and wet but I am so glad I made the effort. Highlight of the run was seeing a beautiful kingfisher flashing past me along the stream. I haven’t seen one of these for a couple of years and this was a really special moment which made the mud and rain worthwhile and meaningful.

 

Photography has taken a bit of a backseat with everything else but I am determined to get inspired again. In the meantime I have asked if I could share this fabulous photograph of a kingfisher taken by a very talented friend of mine called Simon Ellis. Please do check out more of his work here and here and tell him I sent you!

Today I am 42...

Today I am 42 years old. 42? How? I don't feel 42 - 42 is actual grown up territory, adult, scary!
Do I look 42? I spent some time with my reflection this morning, I can see faint lines, a few grey hairs, skin not quite as bouncy as it once was - but I looked pretty happy nonetheless!

I have been spoilt with presents, tea in bed, hugs and kisses, surprises, lovely messages and kind thoughts. I think I might just burst with joy :)
DD and DS#2 gave me a fab card with an angel reaching up for the stars. She said "Anything is Possible" (she had her knickers tucked into the back of her dress as she said it) and today I feel like it is!

Big confession time (we're all friends now, right?) I spend a great deal of my time feeling not quite good enough - not living up to those ideas and ideals in my head. I worry I have not achieved much, have made lots of mistakes (some of them more than once!). I don't ever quite manage to be who I think I want to be. I am inspired by countless people but the stupid voice in my head says "I wish I had her style, her creativity, his flair, her words...pictures....talent...lifestyle..." blah blah blah.

But TODAY anything is possible - today I am good enough being me. Today I have friends and family who love me for who I am - not perfect but ME! Today I am glad to be alive - to be doing things I like. Today I am going to count my achievements (I may even list them). I'm going to eat cake, have beauty treatments, think positive thoughts and accept all the love with grace and appreciation. Who knows where such a radical change of thinking might take me just for today?
Anything is possible!!!!!


Thank you for bearing with me - normal service will be resumed soon!