Today I am choosing to be happy!

Oh my goodness so much has changed in my life since my last post (which was about 100 years ago, I know!)

There have been some fairly major upheavals at work which are now beginning to settle down. I am looking forward to getting properly stuck into my new role as Programme Manager, lots to do and lots to learn!

Combine this with the fact I have also ‘lost’ two children over the last 2 months, one to University and one to begin his Army training and maybe you can see where this is going....

The uncertainty at work, and the huge changes at home have had a big knock-on effect on my life. Creativity has been at an all time low – I have not Instagrammed, blogged or taken many pictures at all. Crafting has been relegated to bottom of my list of priorities and I have even struggled to keep up a regular yoga practice (and don’t even ask about the gym!!!) The allotment and garden have probably seen their least attention in ages which has rightly resulted in rubbish crops. In fact, confession time, I have spent most evenings not doing an awful lot, watching mindless crap on the TV and feeling a bit sorry for myself... This in turn has been making me feel guilty and therefore even worse about my lack of enthusiasm.

But – slobbing on the sofa is no way to spend all your time and I am ready to embrace the spirit of the season and start afresh, out with the old and in with the new.

I have lots of new projects planned, have booked a couple of craft fair stalls to give me a goal and am due to go to a couple of crafty workshops to hopefully inspire and enthuse me. I am also trying hard to recognise and respect when I need a bit of quiet time, things are all about balance and time to be reflective and introspective are important too, especially for me.

I am not making rash promises of blog updates every week and masses of creativity happening  – but I am going to promise to do one thing each day which makes me happy. It might be posting a picture or spending an extra 10 minutes with my journal. It may be doing a few yoga asanas before bed or spending a few moments breathing and being thankful. 

What are you doing today which makes you happy?

Where I Am Right Now...

Right – I am jumping back into the blogging with an old favourite, my prompt post!

Stuff that I am doing right now on a couple of precious days off work!

Making: Some fruit smoothies with my Nutribullet. I will be more healthy and avoid chocolate!

Cooking: I have plans to create some home cooked real food while I am off work – my cookbooks are overflowing with ideas. We will probably end up eating pizza or fish and chips.

Drinking: At this time of the day?

Reading: Around the house I currently have about 7 books on the go. Bedtime reading is ‘Dark Lover’ the biography of Rudolph Valentino, in the living room I have ‘Why Can’t I Meditate’ and in the kitchen pile is ‘Eat, Nourish, Glow’ Just a few.....

Wanting: More days off work so I can get on with the millions of ideas and plans whizzing in my head at the moment.

Looking: At the grey skies outside the door and, although I love rain, wishing it was just a teenier bit more sunny.

Playing: George Formby – gotta love George!

Wasting: Valuable housework time trying to be creative and finally blogging!

Sewing: I have a summer top all ready to sew but I am thinking it might not get done in time for this summer now....

Wishing: I was back at the mini yoga retreat I did this weekend – such a treat to spend time doing something I love with supportive people.

Enjoying: Some time with my boys – September will see some huge changes with both boys heading off and leaving home for different reasons. Now I am treasuring each moment they are here (and trying to to blissfully ignore the annoying boy stuff that they do)

Waiting: For my massage appointment this afternoon – I think it might help the residual pain I’ve been having following my osteopath treatment for back problems.

Liking: Some new vintage treasures that have arrived in the house, china, games, more things to find a permanent home for.....

Wondering: If it will rain for both of my days off or will it now wait until our holiday in Cornwall in a few weeks and then unleash full holiday weather. As usual!

Loving: The new reindeer hide which we have finally decided should go on the bed.

Hoping: My yoga and mindful state of mind will continue...

Marvelling: At how long my computer takes to do anything and how I haven’t mindfully thrown it through the window.

Needing: Pay day to come along just a little more quickly this month.

Smelling: Penhaligons Hammam Bouquet

Wearing: Lazy clothes – and now thinking what I should wear for the massage... oh the worry!

Following: Not sure now the Tour de France has finished. Will have to totally rethink my evenings L

Noticing: How fresh everything smells after the rain – see, looking for the positives..

Knowing: These two days will fly past and I will not do half the stuff I want to do. But that I need to appreciate some slower time and things that don’t get done will just have to wait.

Thinking: Trying not to..... being present in the moment!

Feeling: Mostly chilled and relaxed and quite happy.

Bookmarking: Yoga stuff and mindful stuff and things that inspire me.

Opening: Actually trying to resist opening another book until I have finished the ones I have started.

Giggling: At the weather – no point being too upset by it. At least I won’t have to water the garden. Again....

Well – that’s where I’m at right now....

The Power of Positive Thinking

Pussy Willow and Blue Skies.

What a beautiful weekend. The glorious weather seems to have lifted everyone’s spirits and I have definitely seen a new enthusiasm especially in the garden. But more of that later. I’ll get my confessional moan out of the way first :)

This last week has been a challenge for me in lots of ways. It has got me thinking about the kind of thoughts I have and how they impact on the way I feel. I have actually had a fantastic week at work – done things that have put me outside my comfort zone and been thrilled with the results. I have run training on my own, organised team days, led meetings and started all manner of new projects. Outside of work I even managed a lovely night out with DH, a meal and trip to the cinema. BUT.... I did make one mistake. Admittedly it was a fairly big one but it was dealt with and sorted and I owned up and made good. So, why did this one thing overshadow the rest of all the good stuff that happened this week? I have had to actually force myself to recognise all the positives and yet still this one negative kept jumping up and waving its little arms, shouting  “don’t’ forget the stuff up! Don’t forget the mistake you made!” This has had a huge impact on everything else. I have felt bad, eaten too much, didn’t make the effort to go to the gym, watched too much TV and generally wallowed in self pity.

Blossom in the garden.

So this morning I decided enough was enough. I was up early, at the gym for opening time then came home via the allotment so I could admire the work that DH did there yesterday while I wallowed. Hooray for rotavators! Once home I did a few yoga stretches to clear my mind (note to self, do not do this in the same room as a teenager watching Pewdie Pie videos) and gave myself a stern talking to. I then vowed to spend the day doing nourishing and positive things. DH and I went for a long walk across the fields to check how our beehives have fared overwinter. There honestly is nothing like nature to put you in a better frame of mind. All the budding leaves and wildlife. We saw butterflies, bugs, herons, buzzards, rabbits, so many things. And to make it even better it would appear that two hives still have signs of bees. This was totally unexpected as we thought we had lost them all. We won’t peek inside just yet but the signs are good! Later we will make our lists of seeds for the allotment and garden. I love this part of the year, all the promise of good things to come :)

At last - some dry weather!

Busy little bees - not that you can see them here!

To finish off the day I have a meal with the whole family planned and then I am going to settle down with a glass of something nice and lose myself in the world of Mr Selfridge for a hour. After that? Bed and positive thoughts of all the good things I have to be grateful for. And “meh” to the odd mistakes that I might make along the way.....

I love the weekend!

Blue skies - hooray.

It’s Sunday afternoon already – how did that come around so quickly?

I’ve had a weekend of mostly pottering about which has been blissful. Saturday started with me wandering up to the village hall to partake in an hour of yoga. I have discovered the most fabulous class right on my doorstep and first thing on a Saturday morning is just perfect for me! It’s also been really nice to reconnect with some other ladies from the village. Since I stopped working at the village pre-school to take up full time work in Oxford I have missed the contact with other villagers – I rarely visit the pub (honest, guv) and have not yet taken the radical step to becoming a fully paid up member of the local WI and so opportunities to be social are fairly limited (also, I am not all that sociable – another flaw in my plan!) But the yoga is great, physically and socially. I am feeling the benefits in supplementing my own morning practice with something more structured and it’s great to have some feedback on ways I can improve my positions. I am not yet able to put my legs behind my ears but I am a lot bendier than I was a few months ago :)

I have been working hard to tame my magazine addiction – I am still checking out the mag stands but am not buying! What a step forward. I have also made headway with the vast collection I have at home, sorting some out to recycle, passing some onto people I think might enjoy them (and not be tempted to hoard them) and I have even uttered the words “just recycle them or pass them on if you don’t want them” instead of “have a flick through then GIVE THEM BACK (please).” It’s been hard but I feel better for it. Honest.

Some of my treasures - probably rare and very valuable!

I have caught up with household chores and checked out some blogs. I have started a new mindfulness book which is proving better than Dummies (thanks Claire!) and today saw some more work in the garden. Well, I started focussed enough, pruning the raspberry canes and weeding in the fruit cage. But then I got waylaid playing Time Team. This basically involves finding ‘treasures’ and then making up preposterous stories about what the small fragments of pottery/china/whoknowswhat could have been. As our house is on the site of a 14^th century chapel there is the very real possibility that some of the fragments are actually something interesting. As I have no real knowledge of archaeology other than Time Team my wild guesses are probably far off the mark. I would imagine many of my treasures are, in fact, 20^th century Woolworths. But it’s a fun game nonetheless. In my head.

To top it off, there have been some glimpses of real sunshine this weekend too – and I am loving how this seems to lift everyone’s spirits. My friend Kathy bought me some daffodils and I have been admiring their cheery yellow loveliness and can’t wait to see more as they flower in my garden. I’d love to hear about what’s been making you happy this weekend! 

My name is Karen and I am an addict........

It seems a long time since my last proper post – sadly I hit that whole writers block thing and worried that anything I had to say was quite simply not very interesting :( I have tried to keep posting with my Thoughtful Thursday picture and quote combo but needed inspiration.....

Luckily my group of blog friends that I found through ‘Blogging From the Heart’  have stepped in with a group challenge involving choosing prompts for each other....  The lovely Cordula  chose this one for me “What you’re addicted to, and why”

Hmmm, I’m probably addicted to lots of things in small ways. I can’t sleep at night without having read at least a page from my book (or the same page several times if I’ve had a drink!) I can’t imagine life without Earl Grey or new shoes and I am probably more than a little enthusiastic about checking FaceBook sometimes.

However, there is one thing that I am shamefully addicted to which I will now lay bare for you. I have hinted at this addiction in previous posts but now is the time for the full truth. Magazines. I love them, have to have them, need my fix and I don’t know why... In my more sensible moments I can list all the reasons why I shouldn’t buy them. Too expensive, full of adverts, more clutter for my already crammed house, articles with info that I could easily find in more depth online, etc etc etc. But I still find myself scanning the displays, being lured in by glossy covers, free gifts, the promise of delights within. I said out loud to DD recently that I would buy less magazines this year whilst clutching the latest ‘Homes and Antiques’ to my fevered bosom. She laughed and said I would never stick to it. She was right.

In more insane moments I have been known to buy the same magazine twice, forgetting that I already have that issue in a pile at home. I promise myself that I will read, cut out interesting bits then recycle... Ha! Cut up my beautiful pages, even of the doubles??  Some publications I have every issue of, neatly filed. Oh the panic that set in when I realised that foolishly I had missed a copy of The Simple Things – a gap in my set, the anguish! (hooray for back issues) Some publications just reflect my changing interests. Spring time is nearly all gardening mags, I go through phases, yoga mags, craft, interiors, history, Christmas (never trashy celebrity mags  I'm proud to admit).

So what is it about magazines? I actually don’t know. Maybe it’s the fact that each new purchase means I get to treat myself to a cup of tea and a few precious moments to myself. Maybe I'm scared I’ll miss some piece of life-changing advice (I would never have discovered Susannah Conway if not for a magazine). Maybe it’s a way to inspire myself in an easy to access way. No matter how much I love browsing the internet, there is nothing quite the same as flicking through a magazine. It’s like Pinterest on Paper.

No, I am standing up here and now to declare my addiction and to make a pledge to address it once and for all. From this day forward I promise to only buy two magazines a month. Just two. One, two, that is all.

Unless that free gift is something really special! ;) 

Meaningful and Mindful

It seems like an age has passed since my birthday and I feel I am embracing 42 with positivity and fresh insights.

My blog ‘confession’ drew more love and support than I could ever have imagined and I feel very blessed to have wonderful people in my life – thank you to all of you!

 

I didn’t tell you that I had treated myself to a massage on my birthday. I had in my head a relaxing and pampered hour and a half, ha! The lovely lady that supplied my treat found what she could only describe as some of the hardest knots in my shoulders that she’d come across for a long time! She kindly asked if she could ‘work them out’ - ‘go for it’ I replied, still on a drift of scented oil and candles. OMG – it hurt. Quite a lot. And the next day. And the day after that too. But it was a lesson to me that I am clearly keeping quite a lot of tension in that area. I feel so much better now and I have been making a concerted effort to do some yoga stretches every day and to relax my shoulders every time I feel them hunching (which seems to be every 5 minutes)

 

I have also been reading a lot about mindfulness and thinking that this is definitely something which I need in my life. I have done a little meditation in the past and it now feels like the right time to revisit and try it again. I have been faithfully trying out some of the exercises in this book but I am finding some harder than others. Trying hard to explore feelings like anger from a mindful viewpoint having just been cut up by a thoughtless driver is tough – and meditating on the bed late in the evening just leads to sleep! But each experience is a learning opportunity and I am embracing it as best I can.

 

I have continued to go to the gym but decided last Sunday to have a run in the proper outdoors. It was chilly and wet but I am so glad I made the effort. Highlight of the run was seeing a beautiful kingfisher flashing past me along the stream. I haven’t seen one of these for a couple of years and this was a really special moment which made the mud and rain worthwhile and meaningful.

 

Photography has taken a bit of a backseat with everything else but I am determined to get inspired again. In the meantime I have asked if I could share this fabulous photograph of a kingfisher taken by a very talented friend of mine called Simon Ellis. Please do check out more of his work here and here and tell him I sent you!

Shiver me timbers!

Unravelling is done :-( well, in reality the process has only just started but the course is officially over! Some of us plan to keep in touch and keep suggesting new projects to try which will be great. 

I have been embracing the new unstressed me-I have rediscovered my interest in yoga tho I have had to admit that the 40 plus me is nowhere near as bendy as the 20 year old me! Still, small steps and I'm already feeling the changes! I tried to embrace herbal tea but still cannot find one that doesn't taste like cat wee! Any suggestions gratefully received :-) 

I've had another trip to the seaside, Weston super Mud this time. In the rain. It was possibly the wettest day ever. I took DD and DS#1. We sat in a cafe looking out of a birdpoo smeared window at some miserable donkeys on the beach whilst drinking hot chocolate! But it was a great day! 

The children said they enjoyed it anyway! 

More sea related shenanigans were had with my evening at the opera. Opera Anywhere performed Pirates of Penzance at Blackwells bookshop in Oxford and I was lucky enough to go! It was awesome! I've never seen live opera before and loved every minute of it. To top it off, my lovely friend Jackie works at Blackwells and so I got a guided tour too! Even saw the roof garden with some spectacular views! 

I feel this is a brief lull before the chaos begins next week, we have a huge festival at work which will mean all hands to the pump. It's also the launch of the film that DD and I were in... We're off to London for a gala premiere! Watch this space!